Snarky Merlin Sillies
43 Simple Ways To Simplify Your Life
- Remove your doors
- Eat half of each pet
- Sit on a big, thick book
- Something something keyring holder
- Paint clocks cheery pink
- Wear discarded food
- Makebelieve girlfriend chair
- Sleep in liquor cabinet
- Embrace hug love hug meow meow
- Small room to plan crimes
- Hack your house key organizer
- Mail a surprise toaster
- Just stare more
- Fourteen
- Poke holes in paper things
- Macrame shoelace tree
- Scrapbook poop and pee
- Euthanize even faster
- Amputate favorite limb
- Pencil shaving gallery
- Immigrant coat rack
- Shoebox of dangerous porn
- Zen unicorn rainbow zen journal
- Icepick to one good eye
- Simplify fourteen harder
- Aluminum foil swan cozy dryer
- Smell your finger. All of it.
- Resimplify your simplicity
- Habitualize your zen
- Remind your drapes, “I love you, Mrs. Textile”
- Freeze your clutter
- Couch fort dinner party
- Nicene creed robot
- Only sodomize things that forgive
- Coaxial sweater vest
- Transitive verb predicate clause
- More crying but quieter
- Inhaler nativity
- Contact paper taxonomy binder
- America’s Roast Beef: Yes, Sir
- Breathe like no one’s dancing
- Unbridled solo diaper play
- Illuminated panty shrine
[via]
"The Bystander Effect" AKA: People are Assholes. *READ*
One hundred meters ahead of me was a paraplegic man struggling with his head rest that had come off it’s tubing.
Unable to lift his arms high enough to maneuver the thing, he was trying to do it with his head, with absolutely zero success.
This was something I noticed a lot with the neuro patients I had, nursing aids not completely finishing their work.
Most are over worked and underpaid, but Jesús Cristo… you put on the shoes, tie them up…you put on the coat, do it up… ditto with his fly.
I had one woman who would come into her afternoon session with me straight from her care home with her feeding tube OPEN, her undergarments unchanged from that morning.
I know, I know blah blah fucking blah nurses and aids are understaffed and I’m not privy to their work environment. I’m sure it’s hell. I wouldn’t want to do it. But when it comes to care giving? No fucking slacking off. You took the job, do it right.
Back to this morning with the man in the mall.
People were walking by him.
Observing his weakness like he was a fucking art exhibit.
Let’s gild the lily and let you also know that this man was Black, and the population of blacks in Canada is probably >9%.
While it isn’t anyone’s duty to help others, you’d think compassion or just the simple ability for you to move your own damn body would be enough of a reason to help someone unable to help themself. Do people really just walk by and think, “Oh that poor man in the wheelchair his headrest came off and his head is flopping around all funny. Someone should help him!” or “Sucks to be him.” or “Oh My God, a black person in a wheelchair with a floppy head!!”
Is compassion something that some people lack, or something that people are just not willing to expose?
Lack of compassion is one of the greatest faults a human could possibly possess. Period.
Now I’m not a fucking saint, I don’t follow Christ or Buddha, but I do value human beings despite their faults, stench and idiocy.
Yes, even people displaying idiocy.
Even the mall gawkers. As much as I object to their choice in gawking, I can sympathize with whatever reasoning they had, even if it is pure idiocy.
As I slid the piece back on the tubing and locked it (similar to a simple spigot handle), as it SHOULD have been locked by the person who helped him into the damn thing this morning, OR the bus driver, he turned his head to the right as far as he could,
“Thank you SO MUCH.”
I don’t know if I would have approached him so easily if it wasn’t for the fact that I can assemble and disassemble a wheelchair in 3 minutes.
I would have at least tried, or asked, despite not knowing.
People, in general, are bloody idiots.
This Hypothesis remains intact until further notice.
Jake and Jason were itching to throw snowballs at strangers outside The Raleigh Times last night, and who was I to stop them?
This was our first real snowfall in AGES.
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